Do YOUR labels define you?

I’m not talking about whether it’s Topshop or Balmain I’m talking about the labels you give yourself, I’m a procrastinator, I’m unorganized, I’m not confident.

Ask yourself this, are you’re self labels allowing you to get away with things?  So “I haven’t done that job on my to do list” and although it doesn’t feel great, but you know what “I’m a procrastinator” so that’s why I didn’t get it done.  Stop letting yourself of the hook, you’re doing yourself no favours and you will continue in the same cycle.

If you are going to label yourself, start now today by saying the opposite, so for example replace procrastinator with “I am proactive” say it over and over again, and keep telling yourself that. Repetition is key even if you feel resistance push through it, you will soon feel the change internally; it will shift your perspective to a proactive approach.

Self-talk is powerful beyond belief; feed yourself something positive, that will nurture you and move your forward not let you off the hook.

Have a great day

Jane

What Have You Done For You Lately?

Have you ever been so focused on helping someone else or so focused on work that you’ve lost yourself and not even realised, I’m going to go as far as saying maybe you’ve even put your life on hold. Then one day that person is where they’ve been working towards or the next project at work comes along and suddenly, BANG the self-realisation of ‘what the hell have I been doing for me’ kicks in and the answer is, nothing, I’ve done nothing for myself. Spending your energy on someone or on work, it’s an easy thing to do.

It’s easy to fall into bad sleep patterns, eat unhealthy, remove yourself from any form of exercise, it’s almost self sabotage, ‘it’s not about me it’s about them or it’s about work, ‘must do a great job’.  Well actually if you continue you that way, you won’t be any good to yourself, them or work.

So it’s time to put yourself first, you may ask yourself ‘is this ok”, ‘can I do this’, they’re completely natural questions and the answer to both of them is ‘yes it is ok’ and ‘yes you can do it’.

So in the words of Janet Jackson, ask yourself ‘What have you done for me lately?” and if the answer is not much, allow yourself a fresh start by giving yourself some new found self-love and self-respect, believe me, you deserve it.

It’s all up to you

We can often put things on hold because of someone else, unknown to ourselves we can get tangled up in a web of ‘well if they change things would be better’, ‘I’d do more’, you know the stuff you’ve really been wanting to do for ages, it’s them that holds you back, damn them when are they going to change. I’ve come to tell you, they may never change, it’s not about them changing, it’s about you taking control. It’s about you taking control and creating that change that needs to happen. If you’re waiting for someone to change, it may never happen because they may be perfectly content or even far too lazy to do anything about it. Don’t put things on hold anymore, take control of your life and make things happen.

Your life is up to you.

Change to Transform

Now I’m not talking about the type of change you get from a £20 note, I’m talking about the type of change that when hearing the word change, can fill us with fear.  Most of the time it fills us with fear because it means entering the unknown.  Often It results in thoughts like, I’m not ready, what if…, and then you talk yourself into the idea that your situation is actually not that bad, when actually it is, you’ve become uncomfortably comfortable with the situation whether it be a relationship, job, physical or maybe mental state. We know it’s not right for us, that it’s not serving us any good but we can be scared to act on it because we don’t know what the unknown holds for us. Fear not, if you look up these two words in the dictionary, they have beautiful meanings:

Change = to transform or convert (usually followed by into)

Unknown =  not discovered, explored, identified, or ascertained

‘To Transform’ and ‘not discovered’ bring a whole new feeling to the words change and unknown; it brings positivity and excitement, of which both you could have in your life and I’m sure you deserve. Whether it’s deep down or just under the surface you know what needs to transform, how about this week taking the first step to that new discovery. If replacing a word can make a new situation sound exciting imagine how amazing addressing your situation will feel. Have an amazing transformational week Jx

It’s ok not to be ok

 

What’s important is how you handle it and what you do next.

1. Embrace it

Recognise why you are not ok and say it out loud.  A lot of the time it only takes saying something out loud and admitting it to ourselves that is enough to make us take the first step to change the situation.

Go on, look your inner control freak right in the eye and say “I’m not ok” it will just squirm and scuttle away, perplexed. This in turn will leave you feeling refreshingly empowered and free.  Acceptance is a beautiful thing.

2. Ask for help if you need it

Only you will know who or what that help will be.  It could simply be chatting to your best mate about it.  Give yourself permission to ask for help, it’s ok!

3. Recognize what needs to be done to change the situation

We always have control, even if its 1% we can contribute to change a situation, that change can simply be how we deal with it in our heads.  We can choose to say “No I’ve had enough I’m over it” or tackle it head on with an action plan.  Think, what is in my control to change this situation.

4. Begin the change

That first step can sometimes be the hardest so keep focused on how good you’re going to feel once you’ve done it or the relief you will feel.  One step at a time, that’s all it takes.  Starting is the key.

5.  Enjoy!

And congratulate yourself on your new found freedom in whatever situation it may be.

Love

J

Are you doing what you really want to do?

If you are doing what you really want to do, congratulations keep going.  If not, what is it that is stopping you from taking that first step, is it a limiting belief?

What is a limiting belief?

A limiting belief is a belief that is stopping you from moving forward and achieving your goals.  It can be anything that is stopping you, from “What if my designs don’t sell”,  “I don’t have enough time” to “I’m rubbish at presenting, I can’t pitch”, you get the idea.  Therefore limiting you from moving forward and achieving your goal, your dream.

How do they come about?

As we grow up we’re exposed to peoples opinions.  *Parents, friends, teachers, colleagues, relations they all have an opinion, they love a bit of input don’t they.

“What? You want to make clothes or sing for a living, you must be mad.  You need to find a proper job” or maybe “It’s tough out there now, you shouldn’t be starting your own company” I mean how annoying is that when you’re doing something you love and you’re good at it.

The sad thing is if you hear that regularly over a period of time, insecurity can set in and you can start to doubt yourself.  “Well actually, can I make money, will it work, and maybe I should get a safe, proper job” (whatever one of them is)

Right, let’s turn this around

What limiting beliefs do you have that are holding you back from doing what you really want to do?  Write them down.

Now next to it/them write a list of reasons that makes this belief real for you, why do you believe it, what makes this true for you.

So it might look like this:

Limiting belief = I can’t start my own company

What makes it real for you = Clients might not buy my work

Now let’s turn this around, write down the opposite of what is making it real for you. E.g.

What makes it real for you = Clients might not buy my work

Replace with = Clients are buying my work.  (Make it personal to you “my work is selling out” “Clients are loving and buying my work”)

Repeat this over and over until you feel it make a shift.  Remember you may have had this limiting belief for years, so you might need to repeat this exercise again and again.  Say it slow and give it some oomph; reading it in a flat monotone voice isn’t really going to help you, you need to believe it, feel it.

Feel positive and run with it

I’m not even a designer and saying that ten times in a row gives me a feeling of confidence.  This is because it’s positive, positivity feeds positivity.

Notice how you feel when you read the opposite to what you originally said.  You get that calm air of confidence, you start to think in a much more positive, I can do manner.  You’re putting yourself into a positive mindset.  Remember to focus on what you do want and not, what you don’t want.  This is key.

Now is the time to take that first step towards your dream goal.  Go on!

If you’re nervous or not sure where to start I would love to work with you to bring your goals and dream alive, this is just the tip of the iceberg.  You can mail me at Jane@janedringcoachingcreatives.com or call me for a chat to find out more on +44 (0) 7906 258 633

*I’m aware that not all Parents, friends, teachers, colleagues, relations etc love a bit of input, just some of them!