Have you ever been so focused on helping someone else or so focused on work that you’ve lost yourself and not even realised, I’m going to go as far as saying maybe you’ve even put your life on hold. Then one day that person is where they’ve been working towards or the next project at work comes along and suddenly, BANG the self-realisation of ‘what the hell have I been doing for me’ kicks in and the answer is, nothing, I’ve done nothing for myself. Spending your energy on someone or on work, it’s an easy thing to do.
It’s easy to fall into bad sleep patterns, eat unhealthy, remove yourself from any form of exercise, it’s almost self sabotage, ‘it’s not about me it’s about them or it’s about work, ‘must do a great job’. Well actually if you continue you that way, you won’t be any good to yourself, them or work.
So it’s time to put yourself first, you may ask yourself ‘is this ok”, ‘can I do this’, they’re completely natural questions and the answer to both of them is ‘yes it is ok’ and ‘yes you can do it’.
So in the words of Janet Jackson, ask yourself ‘What have you done for me lately?” and if the answer is not much, allow yourself a fresh start by giving yourself some new found self-love and self-respect, believe me, you deserve it.
Recently we’ve become the parents of an amazing baby girl and what I’ve noticed is how we celebrate her achievements. Now I’m not talking about missy winning her first skate comp (no pressure poppet) or doing her first windmill, she’s four and half months old that would be a bit odd. What I am talking about is missy doing a great burp, making new sounds or grabbing a toy; these bring us endless hours of proud sighs and happiness, we get proper excited about her day to day achievements.
Now it got me thinking again about us as adults and do we recognise what we have achieved or are we too busy focusing on what else we want to do that we rarely celebrate our day-to-day achievements.
Lets take 2013, have you taken any time to look back and see what you achieved in the past twelve months, if not take a few minutes right now. Maybe you got that job or client you wanted, started your own business, did an amazing shoot, started exercising or ran a marathon. Maybe you got out of the rut of a relationship you’re in or made the one you’re in even better, if so, nice one!
Often we focus on and are chasing the “bigger” and “better” things and miss out on the smaller things we achieve. Now I’m not saying you need to high five your bestie for breaking wind (I’m also not saying don’t), what I am saying is its important to acknowledge the small things that we achieve day to day rather than beating ourselves up about the things we haven’t done yet.
Why not make 2014 the year that you start giving yourself a break and recognising how much you actually do. Use your past achievements as a motivator to move forward and achieve more, you’ve proved you can do it, now keep it up.
Filed under 2014, achieved, awareness, Empower, energy, Inspire, jane dring, ownership, recognition, results, self love, visualise
What’s important is how you handle it and what you do next.
1. Embrace it
Recognise why you are not ok and say it out loud. A lot of the time it only takes saying something out loud and admitting it to ourselves that is enough to make us take the first step to change the situation.
Go on, look your inner control freak right in the eye and say “I’m not ok” it will just squirm and scuttle away, perplexed. This in turn will leave you feeling refreshingly empowered and free. Acceptance is a beautiful thing.
2. Ask for help if you need it
Only you will know who or what that help will be. It could simply be chatting to your best mate about it. Give yourself permission to ask for help, it’s ok!
3. Recognize what needs to be done to change the situation
We always have control, even if its 1% we can contribute to change a situation, that change can simply be how we deal with it in our heads. We can choose to say “No I’ve had enough I’m over it” or tackle it head on with an action plan. Think, what is in my control to change this situation.
4. Begin the change
That first step can sometimes be the hardest so keep focused on how good you’re going to feel once you’ve done it or the relief you will feel. One step at a time, that’s all it takes. Starting is the key.
And congratulate yourself on your new found freedom in whatever situation it may be.
Filed under accountable, achieve, ask yourself, attitude, coaching, committed, Empower, realistic, recognition, relief, To Do List, visualise